The Many Pains of Effie Trinket
by SafeKept
Summary: Effie Trinket knows she deserves better than this, and would willfully complain to anyone who would listen, if she weren't completely above that. But now she has been given a duty, and even if she doesn't really get it, she's sure it's super important. AU
1. Chapter 1

Ever since she was a little girl, back when she had nothing to do and not a thing resembling responsibility, Effie had always hated mornings. She had always thought that they existed purely to annoy her, pushing the rays of light right over her eyes and deliberately stinging them. Sunlight was evil, vicious. Even now she avoided it all that she could, preferring a safer, artificial glow.

She had no idea what her job was meant to be, these days. There were always hundreds of tasks and duties and errands shoved on her, and she had no clue why she was meant to do a single one of them. She was eternally jumping between jobs, leaping from standing in as a secretary to more glamorous work at events among various districts. They were always far more fun, though she couldn't help hoping for better sometimes.

She was pretty. Charming, she thought. Entertaining, at the very least. She would do anything she could to put on a show, even if it ended up with a hundred vicious monkeys dancing around her feet, or something like that. Glorious maidens carrying her to the river to bathe her so that she may ascend to- glory! That had never happened, though. She hoped for it to remain that way. But, who knew the way a day could go if you just let it? Either way, she would do whatever was needed to keep the crowds happy. She would throw out the juicy meat of her dignity if it would keep them satisfied.

Why couldn't Hela understand that? Perhaps stand to step down from her cloud of leather and skinless cats to see that lowly little Effie Trinket is, in fact, an asset?

She wouldn't, obviously. But Effie could dream, couldn't she? Just like she could hope that the morning would crawl back around the Earth and let her keep on dreaming in a more literal sense. Her eyes flittered over to her window, just in case. Her curtains were drawn. But she could see the sunlight creeping through. Ugh.

Yes, mornings definitely existed merely to irritate her.

She drearily climbed up from her bed, flinging her covers to the floor. Dragging herself over to her mirror, she clawed a comb through her short hair a few times. It scarcely mattered if it was a mess, always sheltered under a neat wig as it was, but she liked things to be tidy even if no-one knew about it.

She picked up a bright pink creature from a hook at her dresser, pulling it down over her head. It fell wonky, and she tugged at it to straighten it. The mirror flickered at her in the sunlight as she inspected her reflection. She sighed, and wearily applied her make-up.

Then, as she stepped out of the door to her smallish flat, she pushed back her shoulders as she saw a coin on the floor. It wasn't stained with the unfortunate glow of the sun, but the nice, clean light that can only be produced by a light bulb. The coin was silver, speckled with white, and Effie leant down quickly to pick it up. She rolled it between her fingers, wondering whether or not it was a socially acceptable thing to do to wish on a coin. Obviously, there was nobody around to judge her, but Effie prided herself on keeping up appearances, even when it was just her alone, examining her distorted reflection in a doorknob. She looked back at the coin to keep herself from thinking that her hair looked wonky in the doorknob.

Maybe the coin was special. Magic, perhaps. Effie didn't believe in such things, but she might consider starting if it could get her things she wanted. But…how does a person wish on a coin? Her eyebrows pushed together, and she tried tossing the coin off of her thumb. It spun wonderfully in the air, gleams of light flying off of it. Quick! What do you wish for, Effie?

"Um, um, um!" she said aloud. "I wish that my job was more fulfilling!"

The coin dropped to the ground. Well, that was a stupid wish. She was going to be so extremely… _very angry_ if that wish came true! Or she might just enjoy life. That's what Salla would have told her to do, anyway. Then again, Salla once told her it was a totally great thing to take a long bath in caramel. Her hair didn't recover from that, but she was sure that her super-duper best friend had meant well. But enjoying life sounded considerably less stupid, and, well, enjoyable. And her job being fulfilling could help that in a way that a tub full of sticky gold ooze never could.

"Effie?" It was Kella a neighbour stroke friend-like person who Effie didn't like much, a small, neon dyed dog huddled on her arms. Effie thought it would have been sweet, if she didn't hate dogs like she hated monkeys. And gosh goodness did she hate monkeys.

"Hey, Kella! You look great this morning. I can barely get out of bed, my make-up's all over the place! Oh well."

Kella herself made Effie a bit uneasy, too. There was _just something about her_. Maybe the smallish features, or spiderlike hair, or the constant look of an old lady who would lure young children away for some undefined purpose.

"Aw, you look fine. You match my puppy!" The creature poked its head around at her as it nestled in the crook of Kella's prematurely wrinkling purple neck. It grinned with its pointy little teeth, and oh God, are puppy monster teeth awful. Effie's skin grew batches of gooebumps.

"Yay," Effie said, waving her hand manically around her head and hoping to God that the thing wouldn't slaughter her like its puppy pray.

"It's cute."

"Isn't it?"

Oh dear _God_, she was nuzzling it.

"I love dogs. I remember when I was younger, I always used to look over into my neighbour's garden and _dream _of their dogs, wishing that I could snuggle with them like their little boy, having them licking me all over and nuzzling my ears." Kella shivered with pure delight.

Effie hoped that her absolute and extreme horror wasn't showing. Eventually, she managed to sputter a few syllables over Kella's increasingly creepy little girl doggy fantasies. "I really need to get to work, and I think I might have to call in sick if I talk to you any longer!" No, wait, that sounded rude. "Because I'll be late!" she hurriedly rectified. "And I can't stand being late!" Effie walked quickly away, her high heels clicking. Effie Trinket does not run, not unless it is for a purpose. Effie Trinket might stroll, she might strut, she may even allow herself to stomp. But Effie Trinket draws the line at running.

Salla may occasionally give misinformed and sometimes dangerous advice, and also carry guns around in a way that Effie was somewhat uncertain of, but she didn't nuzzle and cuddle with dogs. This was something that Effie was unendingly thankful for.

Her magic coin sat way back on a higher floor as Effie exited her block. She almost wished that she had kept it, as a good luck charm or something. But then she might have had to expose it to dreaded sunlight, and that would have been awful.

Effie remembered that today she was to be given a Duty. An important one, too, apparently. Though it really only took a job not being "Feed my CATS!" for it to be given an IMPORTANT label. A metaphorical label, of course, because all of her duties were delivered verbally.

It was a dull walk to work that morning. She didn't speak to anybody at all on the way there after her encounter with Kella and evil demon friend of _horrorful _puppyhood. Her skin crawled at the thought of it.

She was relieved when she finally stood in Hela's office.

"Good morning!" she said brightly, her small weave bag pulled to her chest.

A girl sat on a wooden chair in the corner, scrunched into a heap of dirty clothes and tangled hair.

"Hello, Effie. It's a nice day, isn't it?" Hela smiled at her, drawing her attention away from the huddle. Effie hated the way that Hela said her name, drawing it out in a hiss like one of her darling cats. Not that Effie had anything against cats, of course. It would be unbelievably silly to hate cats.

"Yes, it is! Nice and sunny."

Hela smiled, baring her teeth. It was always a surprise for Effie that there weren't any huge animal fangs hidden behind her black lips.

"You have a job for me, you said yesterday?" Effie asked, smiling cheerfully, friendly and expectant. Maybe this would mark the start of her coin wishes grantation. Effie wasn't certain of that words existence, but she was too excited to care about thinking in proper English. She had a good feeling about this. Today was special. She had known this since she woke up that morning, she was currently convincing.

"Yes, I do, Eeeefiiiiee! Someone's a bit impatient this morning, no?"

"Yes, I am!" Effie answered playfully. "I'm excited!"

"Oh?" Hela asks, stretching out across her desk towards Effie. "May I ask why?"

"No reason. Just… a good feeling! You know what I mean?"

Hela shrugged, but appeared satisfied for some reason, as though she had just polished off a tasty fish. Ew, Effie thought. That was a gross thought.

"Well, Effie, I'm glad somebody here is happy." Effie's eyes again flew over to the dishevelled girl in the corner.

"Yes, it's her, you're right. No you don't win a prize, sorry. Unless you want a mint?" She waved a hand over a bowl full of brown fish shaped biscuits that were rather lacking in mint-likeness.

"I don't like mints," Effie said quickly.

"Okay. I don't care." She popped on into her mouth, slowly chewing on it loudly, making horrible little crunching noises.

"Um…" Effie said, tidying her skirt uneasily, trying to avoid looking at the girl in the corner.

"Effie, this is going to be your new assistant. You will look after her, and take care of her. She is going to live with you, you will feed her, and she will do whatever you wish."

Effie blinked. "What?"

"She is yours. This is your new Duty."

"She… What about when I'm at work?"

"She can come with you. What does it matter anyway, you don't need the money."

"I like work!"

Hela rolled her eyes impatiently. "This will be your work! This is important."

In the long time, or at least few years, she had been here, Effie had learnt that questioning things or even thinking too hard about them was worthless. She just went along with it most of the time, and she supposed that was what she'd have to do now. Even if it made no sense, and if she wasn't really entirely sure what was happening.

Relenting, she sighed. "Well, what's her name, then?"

"Her name?" Hela frowned. Looking over to the girl, she bit on her lip.

"Yes. I mean, I have to call her something. I mean, I could just use Girl, I suppose, but that sounds a little impolite, I think-"

"Katniss," Hela interrupts. Effie looks up at her, and quickly stops talking. "Her name is Katniss Everdeen."

* * *

><p>Author's Note: I have no idea what this is and I'm sorry. I'll probably continue it anyway.<p>

Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Effie had discovered that young girls who sat dejectedly in the corner of your flat weren't a great thing to have. Generally, she was great at talking to people, she thought. Well, they usually smiled a lot when she spoke, and that was a definitely good thing.

Katniss didn't seem to smile at all. Effie was becoming increasingly certain that her face was simply incapable of it.

"Hello!" she had started as she left work. Katniss had sat silently in Hela's office for most of the day as Effie ran around catering to all of her bosses most ridiculous whims. Hela took her away at one point to have a chat with her in private, leaving Effie with nothing to do for almost an hour. It was confusing to Effie how a person could chat with someone who refused to speak. Katniss was still silent now. Her greeting was simple enough to answer, Effie thought. A hello back would have been perfectly acceptable. But Katniss didn't reply.

"Er, alright. I'm Effie. You probably already know that, with Hela screaming it at me all day." She laughed a high giggle, rocking to one side in an extreme display of amusement. Hopefully that would encourage Katniss to laugh with her.

"Hello," Katniss had said.

Effie blinked into the road as she quickly hopped across it. Perhaps Katniss existed a few moments in the past, she thought, words only reaching her several seconds after they had been spoken. Something in the back of her mind murmured that this was kind of a stupid idea.

Still, she said "Hello, Katniss," with a determined joy in her voice. In the moment, Effie had liked to think that the happiness was just strained enough that Katniss would be alerted to how terribly rude she was being.

Katniss grunted.

Effie sighed dramatically. "You know, it's rude to ignore people."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Maybe you should try answering me."

Katniss stared at the floor. "Yes? What do you want to talk about?"

Effie did not miss the odd viciousness of Katniss's tone, but she chose to ignore it. "Well, how about you start by telling me about yourself, as we're going to be living together?" Gosh, that was a scary thought. Effie had lived alone for almost all of her adult life, and now she had a young girl, definitely no more than fourteen, living with her. Wow.

"I live – lived, I guess – in District Twelve. Fifteen. No job. Mother…sister. Anything else you need to know?"

"No, that's great! I've worked in District Twelve before. It was…um, dusty. Nice, I mean! But-"

"It isn't nice," Katniss muttered, somewhat bitterly, Effie thought.

"Oh." Effie bit on her lip.

Effie fell silent, and a few moments later noticed Katniss staring at her with bored, questioning look.

"I'm sorry!" she said, remembering that she was supposed to be making an effort here. "You just give off this kind of aura of misery, and I think it might be contagious. Now I feel bad, too."

"An…aura of misery?" Katniss asked, looking faintly disgusted.

Maybe that hadn't been the best thing to say. "I mean," Effie began to rectify, "It's like, I give off a really positive feeling, my friends say. See, I just make people happy when I'm around. And I think that you do the same, just you make them sad instead. That isn't a bad thing! It could be really effective if you ever wanted to give a talk on war or anything super serious like that!"

Katniss looked downright revolted at this point.

"Um…" Effie said.

Katniss speeded up a little, continuing across a road instead of turning the corner to Effie's flat. Effie had to grab her by the arm, and was quickly swatted away.

"I- uh…" Effie began again. Make conversation, just say something _conversational_.

Katniss was trailing a little behind now, but Effie could still see her faintly from the very corner of her eye.

Effie continued to mumble isolated syllables, searching for small talk to make. Or any kind of talk really.

Katniss continued walking hurriedly.

"Do you like spaghetti?" Effie almost shouted.

"Huh?" Katniss asked. She seemed to have lost interest in what Effie was doing.

"I…have lots and lots of spaghetti! I bought it for me and a friend, but it turned out she hates spaghetti, so now I just have spaghetti!" The word spaghetti had started to sound strange.

Katniss was looking around at her, and Effie's fists were clenched tightly in fierce hope for a positive reaction from her new…assistant, she supposed? Honestly, she had no idea on earth what she was supposed to do with this girl, as unbelievably uncooperative and unhelpful and unfriendly and _rude_ as she was.

There were few times when Effie had been as thankful as when she saw slight excitement on _Katniss's_ face. She almost flung an arm into the air in delight, and fought the desire to screech '_Progress!_' at the sky. "I'll eat whatever you give me," Katniss said, dulling Effie's excitement only a little. It was the most positive thing she had heard Katniss say so far.

Seeing the glass door that lead to her home, Effie sighed with relief, forgetting for a moment that Katniss wasn't going to disappear once she entered her flat.

Effie had been sat awkwardly on the edge of her leather sofa for an half an hour since they had got here, with Katniss perched on the edge of some ancient wooden seat Effie had forgotten was in the room. The situation was so uncomfortable that Effie didn't even care that she hadn't had time to tidy up. She doubted it even mattered to Katniss, as she was dressed so scruffily.

"So," Effie started, for what must have been the fiftieth time. Katniss didn't show any sign that she had heard her. "I'm going to cook that spaghetti," Effie said with determination. "Is that okay?"

"Yes," Katniss said, not looking away from the patch of carpet that she was so focussed upon.

Effie fussed around the kitchen for quite some time, taking longer than was necessary just to see if Katniss would speak up. She didn't, but Effie still considered it worth the effort.

Finally, Effie presented her with the plate, after dragging her over to the dinner table. Though not literally, because that wouldn't have been very nice. And she was probably filthy. As soon as they had finished eating, Effie was going to force her into the shower.

Katniss immediately began shoving the food into her mouth, and Effie stared in kind of horror that she usually reserved for dogs and monkeys and other such vile beasts. Coughing loudly to catch Katniss's attention, and being completely ignored, Effie was half tempted to drag the plate away from her and insist that she eat like a human being. Effie had not yet touched her own plate of sauce coated spaghetti, red lumps that looked suddenly less like part of an appealing meal and more like strange ooze from some kind of alien who ate sweaty, seven-eyed magic slugs and did weird dances. Ew.

Katniss slurped up the last bits of her alien sludge covered slime-string, and Effie found herself quite scared that Katniss would begin licking at the plate like a puppy-monster_._ Instead though, she relieves a long glare from Katniss, before the girls eyes fell to the table and she began play idly with a misused fork.

"Katniss, would you like to talk to me now?" Effie asked with strained politeness and a sweet, if forced and quite desperate, smile.

"No," Katniss said flatly. "But I wouldn't mind more spaghetti." She asked the question quite rudely, Effie thought, seemingly knowing how much it would annoy her.

"No!" Effie said quickly. "I mean, I don't… Uh…Did Hela feed you?"

"No. I mean, I was only with her a few hours, before you came." Katniss answered.

"Okay. I guess you just really like spaghetti then, huh?"

"I was just hungry." Her voice was toneless, entirely uninterested.

"Oh. You can have some more if you want. I mean, that's fine."

Katniss shook her head. "Do you know why I'm here?" she finally asked, after a long, deeply uncomfortable pause.

"Well, you're supposed to be my assistant, apparently. Though I don't know why I need one, that's basically what I do myself for a lot of the time. Like, you're the assistant's assistant, you assist the assisting while I assist." Effie giggled, but Katniss continued to gaze at her blankly in stony silence.

"No, I was brought here for a reason. Kids don't just get dragged up to the Capitol to help giggling women."

"Hey! That's not nice. I don't know what's going here either, it's just as weird for me as it is for you!"

"Mm hm." Katniss pushed herself away from the table. "Where am I sleeping?" she asked.

"I don't know. I guess you can have the sofa for tonight." It was way too early to be going to bed in Effie's opinion. "You're sleeping already?"

"I might need it," Katniss told her seriously.

"Alright." Effie thought that she might be getting the hang of this: don't ask unnecessary questions and do the bare minimum until you figure out what you're meant to be doing. She didn't really like that though, naturally curious as she was, and decided right then that it was going to be a rule she broke quickly. "Do you mind if I go out?"

"Not really."

"Okay!" Effie said brightly. "I'm just going to go and spend some time with Salla."

"Okay." Katniss said, climbing onto the sofa.

Effie chucked a blanket over to her, and Katniss allowed to fall across her stomach. She was still then, letting the cloth lay there in a heap.

"Bye bye!" Effie said, giving a small wave.

Katniss, predictably, ignored her completely.

Oh dear, Effie thought with a sigh as she closed the door behind her back. This really wasn't going to be very much fun.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Sorry, this was kind of a pointless chapter.<p>

Thanks for reading, and thank you to the people who reviewed!


	3. Chapter 3

Nights out with Salla were nice. Fun. Totally weird.

Effie always enjoyed them. Well, sort of. Salla was a good person, and pretty much _always_ entertaining. But sometimes Effie found herself a little bit scared of her, or at least the things that she always dragged Effie into doing.

She stood just down the road, gripping a small, painfully bright bag to her chest. She refused to sling it over her shoulder, instead cuddling it like a baby. Effie had called her about ten minutes previously, waiting just inside the glass door of the building until she arrived.

"Hey, Effie!" she said in her high voice, speaking way too loudly as she strutted across to the door. Effie shushed her.

"Hi," Effie answered, quite wearily, though trying her best to sound cheerful.

"What's wrong?" Salla asked with concern.

"I… Katniss." Effie sighed.

"The girl. Yeah. Oooooh. Ha, oh I'm sure she'll get used to it." Salla shrugged, and began walking. Effie trotted after her.

"Huh? Has this happened to you?" Effie asked.

"Have I ever had a helpful assistant forced upon me by my boss? Oh god Effie, I don't work. Why would I need an assistant?"

Effie caught up with her, though struggled to keep her pace. "You have servants. That's basically the same, isn't it?"

"No. Besides, they're not servants, they're friends. Except I pay them and they don't like me."

"Aw, they like you. You're nice, they have to," Effie said.

Salla laughed far too loudly. They were quite a distance from her flat now. Effie was away from Katniss for a few hours, and that made her feel quite guiltily relieved. "They don't like me. 'Cause I'm kinda awful. Just because I'm nice to you…"

"Yes, well. I need your help, like I said! What am I meant to do with her?"

Salla sighed. "What do you mean? She assists you. You don't have to do anything with her unless you want to."

"I don't know why she's here though. I mean, I know that Hela's just that kind of person who likes to spring unexpected fun stuff on you, but this is weird."

"Why? Maaaybe she's just trying to help you. You work way too hard. She clearly sees that and is trying to help you. Which makes you awful and unappreciative, by the way."

Effie rolled her eyes. "Maybe. But I've been _really _nice to her, and she's just been horrible and rude."

"District 12?"

Effie nodded, surprised, though Salla wasn't even looking at her. "Yeah. How do you know that?"

"Heard about some stuff going on there," she said, waving a hand vaguely. "I just figured that there'd be some kids brought over here. Or know, like, I was sure this was gonna get around to you _eventually_."

Effie just shrugged. She didn't like to think about some places where Salla got her information, they were almost always horribly creepy. "I met some really sweet people from District 12 before though, so they're not all bad."

"Never said they were, Effie. Maybe she's just young, doesn't know any manners yet." Salla laughed again, coldly.

"Maybe. I could try teaching her, I'm really good at stuff like that," Effie suggested brightly. She wasn't too sure about the idea though; Katniss seemed really hard to talk to, let alone teach. But maybe she would get nicer after she knew Effie better? She could only hope.

"Heh, I wouldn't bother."

Effie frowned. "Why not?"

Salla sighed heavily. She did that a lot, and most of the time Effie had no idea why. "Because it's a waste of time when you should be doing fun things. So stop blasting your pain at me and let's have fun." Salla seemed irritated, and Effie felt a twinge of guilt.

"Okay!" Effie said cheerily. She was going to have fun. That would show Katniss. And if she was happy, she might find her easier to deal with. Being happy always made things easier, that was a simple fact of life. "So, what are we doing then?"

""You know, I think it would probably be fairer if you decided. But if we do that, something bad will probably happen. Like last time, when-heh."

Salla stared out, straight ahead. Effie frowned confused. What Salla seemed to have been so suddenly entranced by looked quite like a fence. Which didn't think was worth half of the excitement on her friend's face. Actually, Effie thought it would be rather more suitable to look just a little terrified. Fences with dying plants and dirt and cobwebs and other _unpleasant things _were just creepy, and excitement was not at all appropriate.

"Where are we? Why have you taken us to a fence?" Effie wondered aloud. She realised that she had stopped paying attention while they walked.

"It's a magic fence Effie. You see, it opens!" Salla pulled at it, grasping the wire in a claw-like grip. It shook a little, but didn't open.

"It's a gate," Effie said.

She saw Salla roll her eyes in the dimming light. "Yes, Effie. It is a gate. Spoil my fun."

"Are we going to go through it?" Effie asked. She really didn't trust Salla with things like this at all. "I _really _don't think we should. Isn't there some kind of rule against entering spooky gates?"

"No? This could be where I live, for all you know. Effie Trinket you have offended me." She rattled the gate again, and Effie jumped at the sound. It was getting dark. That made it worse, of course. "Urgh!"

Effie spoke as Salla played with what must have been some kind of lock. "I don't know why these things even exist."

"What, creepy gates?" Salla asked, frustrated.

"Yes! Aren't cities supposed to be clean and nice? I don't like knowing bad things are here. I don't like having them here at all."

Salla broke into a chuckle after letting out another groan of annoyance. "You have nightmares, don't you?" she teased.

"No! But I don't like it. Just because you're super brave… I get scared. What are you trying to do, anyway?" Effie regretted the irritation in her voice, but she really couldn't help it. Why was it so difficult to have a nice night out with a friend? Didn't she know anyone else to call at short notice?

No, she didn't. Or, she wouldn't go with anyone else. This was always so much fun – at least looking back on it after it was over.

"I'm trying to get through this gate. Is this not obvious?" Salla said, finally dragging it open. "Ahhh!" she half sighed, half screamed. Effie looked through, now that she could see properly what was on the other side. Or, rather, she could have seen, if it wasn't dark now. She could barely see a thing, and was just able to make out Salla's silhouette.

"Well, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but couldn't we just have gone someplace normal?" Effie asked as Salla strolled easily through the gate.

"You could have. But you came with me instead," Salla called back to her. "Besides, get past the dark cobweb creepiness and this is normal. I just like going through the back entrance. It's more fun to watch people jump."

"You mean we could have just gone through the _front door_?" Effie asked, shivering. It was getting really cold, even through the extra thick clothes she had worn. She would always dress warm when going out with Salla, because they almost always ended up someplace in the middle of the night, and it was _always _freezing.

"Obviously. No-one would make someplace this creepy if there wasn't some other entrance. Well, they might, but – Ugh!" She groaned as she flung open an ancient looking door. It _wasn't_ ancient, of course, almost certainly no more than a few years old, but it had been damaged and scared enough that it looked as though it had been barely hanging onto its hinges for decades. Effie jumped as the door swung loosely. It seemed about to fly away but came to a shuddering halt as the bottom corner scraped across the strangely bouncy feeling ground. There was no reason for it to be damp, it hadn't rained in forever. Or at least not recently enough for Effie to remember.

"Who lives here?" Effie started to ask, unsure if anybody actually did live here or if this was just Salla being Salla and taking her to weird places for no reason. This could well have been nothing more than an unusual spot for a night-time picnic, mini clumps of food stuffed in Salla's tiny bag.

She was interrupted, though, by a deep voice that echoed in the shaded spot. There were stone walls all around her, covered in fake looking ivy. Light – artificial, bright, pleasant – glittered on the green plastic, the leaves reflecting the glow. It looked quite pretty, really. Or it would have, if Effie wasn't shivering with cold and thoroughly unnerved by the place.

The voice called, "Salla!"

"Hi! I brought Effie, like I said I would. Not the kid though, 'cause that would have been uncomfortable."

"What's going on? I thought we weren't going to speak about Katniss. I thought we were just going out for your _super fun times." _Effie shivered.

"Nah, see Effie. We are. This is just a stop off. Just like, the kind of stop off that gets you stuck in traffic and has you waiting around for hours just to use the bathroom. And then you show up at where you wanted to be originally hours later than you wanted and it's just not worth-"

"Salla, shut the door and come in. Bring your friend in with you."

"Who are you?" Effie called out shakily.

"Aw, Abernathy, grumpy tonight, aren't we?" Salla laughed, her voice light. She walked into the brightly lit – house, Effie supposed. She could not, however, think of a single soul who would want to live in this place. She shivered as she stepped into the room.

A man, the source of the voice from before she presumed, sat in a large, tattered chair in the corner of the room. The walls were unpainted, left a blank, slightly dirty looking and dull grey. Aside from them, though, the place looked almost perfectly clean. It just seemed old, but a mustier, softer, more welcoming kind of old than the outside of the building. It still unnerved Effie though.

"Hey. You've been lumped with a District Twelve girl, I hear?" He chuckled humourlessly.

"No. Well, I mean, yes. But I don't mind having her! It would be awful to say that." Effie laughed nervously. This man's look was making her uneasy. He definitely suited the house. He'd probably spent the last few years rotting away along with its walls. Though then again, even if he was a mess, bedraggled and untidy, he seemed perfectly healthy, even a little plump.

Salla rolled her eyes, and Effie glared. "Aw, Effie. Shut up, you've been complaining all the way down here," she murmured softly, but apparently not quietly enough.

The man laughed, genuinely this time. "What?" Effie asked, only minimally interested in how rude she sounded. Sometimes unkind people deserved unkindness back, right? Effie thought so, sort of, and this man _was_ annoying her an awful lot. He certainly kept mountains of puppies in some other room, doubtless poised to throw themselves at innocent visitors like her on command. She frowned at him.

He didn't answer her, instead looking around at Salla. "So, Salla. Why is she here?"

"Well, why don't you ask _her_?" Effie cut in. Gosh, that was unlike her, she thought. She usually hated upsetting people, but she couldn't help hoping to get some kind response from this irritating mess.

He glanced quickly around at her disdainfully, and then turned his eyes back to Salla. "She wanted to know about this stuff. So do you. So, you should talk."

"What's her name?" The man asked.

"I'm Effie. And that's rude. Why don't you ask me?"

The man sighed heavily. "The girl. The girl who is working for you."

"Oh. She isn't working right now. I think she's sleeping. It's Katniss. Uh, Everdeen? And, still. You should talk to _me_."

He looked faintly surprised as she said the name, but he quickly regained his blank expression. He looked at her, finally, and Effie suddenly felt uncomfortable – well, more uncomfortable – under his gaze. Ugh, she was so mad at Salla bringing her here. Why couldn't they have a fun night out, just once?

Though maybe she could find out something about Katniss? Well, yes, she thought. That was why Salla must have bought her here. She's just trying to help you, be more grateful, Effie told herself angrily.

"Katniss?" he asked, frowning at her.

"Yes. Do you know her?" Effie's voice was flat, but she thought it was definitely better than the outright rudeness she was doing before. Rudeness was a bad thing to do, and she hated him for making her dislike him enough to be so awful to him. She glared at the man.

"I know of her. Enough to know that she shouldn't be here."

Effie frowned. "Well, do you want me to give her back?"

He laughed again. "God. No, no. You just do what you're doing, let us sort it out for you. Or just leave her as she is. It's not like they'll take her back anyway. You're stuck with her." He smiled.

Effie saw Salla give a faintly amused eye roll. "She's living with me though. If you know her, can you at least tell me how to talk to her?"

"Stop trying to make her talk to you. Things are probably tough enough for, even without a near constant whining blast in her ears."

Effie blinked. After a couple of moments, she said, "I don't whine. That isn't very nice. Do you have anything else to say?"

"Yeah, but I'd rather talk to your friend here. That okay with you?" he asked in an almost simpering voice.

"Can you at least tell me why they've given me her?" Effie asked.

"They haven't _given_ you her," he said, his mouth barely opening and his teeth lightly clashing. "And she's here because they think you need help, obviously. No-one's doing anything against you. I'd worry more about her than having to feed your new slave."

"I don't mind feeding her!" Effie said indignantly. He sighed again, turning to look up at Salla. She had pulled a book out of her bag, one that Effie thought looked rather too large to fit into the tiny little thing, and was aimlessly flicking through it while not appearing to read a word. "Who are you anyway?"

"I deal with this kind of thing, so Capitol airheads like you don't have to."

"Why?" Effie asked, trying her very best to ignore him, biting down on her lip.

"It gets me money. Also payback."

Effie frowned at him. She really didn't get why Salla had brought her here. It was weird, even for her.

"Okay then," he said, his shoulders slouching. "Is this all you bought her here for?"

Salla shrugged. "Thought you might wanna speak to her. You've been looking for someone who has a kid. Now you have a contact."

"Is that it, then?" Effie asked both of them.

"Yup. Bye." Effie glared at the man, who was not looking at her, instead browsing a magazine he'd just picked up off of the floor.

"Come on then, Ef." Salla moved from leaning against the wall, and violently shoved her book back into the bag.

"Don't call me that," Effie said, as she followed Salla out of the door. Salla turned around, and blinked at her in surprise. Effie realised how unpleasant that had sounded "Oh, I'm sorry!" Her voice softened. "It just sounds kind of silly, don't you think?"

Salla laughed lightly, pushing the gate open as they left. "But your name is so _long,_" she said.

Effie shivered. It was even colder than before they had gone in. "So then. Why were we here?"

"I wanted you to meet my dear friend Haymitch Abernathy. As you never asked his name, in all the time we were there. How unlike you, Effffiiiiee." She drew out her name. "That long enough for you?"

"Who is he, though, Salla? Is this some super secret conspiracy thing you're going to pull me into again?"

"No, no. Effie, stop being silly. I just wanted the two of you to meet. And I thought know would be a good time, because there might have been something for you to chat about. But he was just being a vague, evasive idiot, as usual." She sighed. "You wanted help with that girl, I thought he might help you. And now you know someone you can talk to if Miss Everwhatever ever says anything weird."

"Huh? Like what?"

"Aw, Effie, don't worry about it. I said, we are gonna have fun, because that's what we need to do. Don't think about Katniss, she'll be fine this evening. Hopefully, she won't destroy your flat, and we'll have a great evening."

Effie blinked. "She won't _what_?" she asked.

"Well, she won't. Why on Earth would she, that'd just be spiteful." Salla looked around at her, and smiled. "Look, I dunno, it's the kind of stuff you worry about. '_Deary me, gosh goodness, what if that squirrel that was a-winking at earlier climbs in my window and steals my oven? What happens _then _Salla! Gosh_!'" Salla grabbed at Effie's jacket in her terrible concern.

Effie lightly pushed her hands away. "I guess," she said absently. "No, you're right. Let's have fun and not get into any of this weirdness tonight."

"Yeah! And who knows, maybe Katniss will feel like talking to you later. So everything's great right?"

"Mm-hm," Effie said, nodding. "So then, where are we going now we've had your extra long bathroom break?"

* * *

><p>Author's Note: I'm really sorry this took so long! I'll try and write the next one faster, I just got sort of distracted.<p>

Uh, yeah. This chapter was sort of weird. I _will _explain what happened in it properly later on, but yeah. Sorry if this seems a little out of place in the story so far. Also, that it focused a bit too much on an OC? I needed a character there though, and I don't want go _too_ overboard with my forcing of canon characters into places they shouldn't be. I know that Haymitch is a little different here. He's mostly meant to be, though I won't be offended if you tell me I'm writing him really wrong, because I might be.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and to everyone who reviewed so far!


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Effie heard clattering. She had been asleep, quite deeply, for two hours since she arrived home, guided into her bedroom by an only slightly more stable Salla. Neither of them had drunk. Salla didn't drink ever, so nor did Effie when she was around. She had just been worn out.

"Ugh," she said, pushing herself unwillingly out of bed. "Katniss?" she called.

Katniss was already deathly asleep on her sofa by the time she got back. Which Effie thought made sense, as it was around five by then. Salla said that Katniss was horribly lazy and boring, and made an attempt at kicking her. Instead she fell against Effie, nearly knocking her to the floor. She had giggled a while, and Effie reminded her that she wasn't actually drunk. Salla shoved her lightly, and that time Effie actually did fall to the ground that time, and Salla's light, high chuckles broke into proper laughter.

There was no answer to Effie's call, and she guessed that Katniss was still asleep. Or ignoring her. Maybe both… No, wait, that wasn't really possible.

"Who's there?" she said, opening her bedroom door a crack. Salla had shut it the night before apparently, which she supposed was nice of her.

"Heeey, Effie," Salla's voice called.

"No." Effie stumbled out of her bedroom sleepily.

"Huh?" Salla asked.

"Why are you here?" Effie rubbed her eyes.

Salla laughed lightly, walking away to the kitchen, Effie following behind. "I've been here all night, obviously. Why would you think I was gonna leave at that time?"

"Salla, I have to go to work," Effie told her.

"What?" Salla asked, rifling through her cupboards. "Not for another hour or two, at least. Besides, what does that have to do with anything? I'm not taking you hostage, I just stayed overnight. I'll leave, if you want." She pouted, pulling a tin out of the cupboard and examining it.

"I don't know," Effie said. "What do you want?"

"I wanted a place to sleep, without braving the cold all alone. You provided that, though admittedly unwittingly. So, uh, sorry, and thank you."

"Wait," Effie said. "Where's Katniss?"

"She's on your sofa, angrily flicking through a magazine. I offered her tea, which I can actually make, which is impressive. I figured this all out last weekend. Stuff is fun." Salla grinned at the pinkish tin in her hands dreamily, as though it was the most wonderful thing she had ever seen. "She didn't take it though, and that was a little sad."

"You haven't done anything to her, have you?" Effie asked, starting to wake up just a little now. Her arms ached, though she didn't know if that was because of tiredness or overuse last night. She pulled them across her chest, and shivered.

Salla looked affronted. "No, I have not. What motive would I ever have? Besides, she was perfectly nice to me. I think you may have been overreacting slightly about the whole thing."

"She spoke to you? What did she say?" Effie blinked in surprise. That was good, though. Maybe Katniss would be in a better mood this morning, which would make things nicer for everyone.

"Not much. Mostly turning down my offers of tea. We had a short conversation about your lamp, which is horrendous, she thinks." Salla put the tin down, running a finger along its side as she bit her lip.

"Oh," Effie said. "Should I get rid of it, do you think?

Salla laughed. "I don't think that getting rid of your lamp is gonna make her talk to you. Just chat to her, like, normally. You aren't really that great at introducing yourself, or just being regularly friendly."

Effie blinked, quite insulted. "Yes I am! I'm good with people. I really try to be nice, and…"

"Yeah, you're brilliant with professionals and stuff, you just aren't very good at_ genuine_." She pulled the tin open, examining its contents.

"No, I'm great. And stop it, that isn't very nice."

"Aw, Effie, I don't mean it badly. You wanted help with Katniss, and I'm giving it to you. Besides, I'm awful with anyone, so you're a step above me. You have a job." Salla laughed, pulling out a decorative pen that Effie didn't remember owning from the tin.

"You aren't awful with people at all! You're the friendliest person I know. And I know a lot people, I think."

"Heh, thanks, but no. You don't know many decent people anyway, who are the only ones who count." Salla started flicking the pen open and shut, clicking it over and over. "Anyway, talk to Katniss some more. She'll come round, almost definitely. She just needs to get used to you. Maybe she's nervous around new people." Salla laughed, and Effie wasn't really sure she got it.

"Yeah," Effie said uncertainly, rather than laughing as well. "Or maybe I should get rid of my furniture." Effie smiled.

Salla laughed again, this time sounding much friendlier, and it put Effie at ease. "I really hope you're joking. Anyway, I should probably leave? Because you obviously have so much work to do at work that I'm not gonna join you for." She sighed, but smiled. "Can I have this?" she asked, holding the pen up. It glittered prettily in the light.

"Um, I guess," Effie laughed. "Why?"

"It's nice." She slipped the pen into her pocket, smiling. "Alright then. Bye bye, Effie. Properly this time. Dunno. Uh, whenever you're next feelin' a bit down about your servants! Ha ha, sorry Katniss." She smiled at the door, into the room where Effie guessed Katniss was.

"She isn't my…" Effie started to say, but Salla was already walking away out of her front door, laughing lightly. It made Effie a little annoyed, though she wasn't really sure why. It was sort of weird.

"Bye!" she said, uncertainly. She was pretty sure that Salla had already left.

Okay. Oh. Now she would have to talk to Katniss.

It was silly, she shouldn't be nervous. She did want to get on with Katniss, seeing how she had to live with her and everything. Besides, it wasn't very nice when people didn't like you for any sort of reason. Like that man last night, she thought, remembering her and Salla's visit to that weird house. She wouldn't think about that too much though. It was just Salla being Salla. She took Effie weird places sometimes, and she didn't ever explain herself. And Effie was okay with that, really.

But, yes. Katniss.

She should make breakfast. Katniss would be hungry.

"Good morning Katniss!" Effie said cheerily as she entered the room. Katniss was lying sprawled across her sofa, apparently not having moved since being left there last night.

Katniss grunted, her shoulder twitching slightly.

"Do you want breakfast? I was just going to make some, and-"

"Okay," Katniss said, looking up at her lazily.

"Good!" Effie said, smiling. "What would you like?"

It took a few minutes to prepare a few bits of simple buttered bread. Probably, it would have been less, but Effie had been quite determined to lay it all out nicely before she finally placed it in front of Katniss on a small glass table. She couldn't help smiling slightly when Katniss quietly said "Thanks."

"Um," Effie said, as Katniss started eating the bread far too messily for her liking, butter smearing around her lips. She tried to look away as discreetly as possible, and Katniss didn't seem to notice. "You were taking to Salla earlier, right?"

Katniss looked at her for a few moments, seeming to decide whether or not Effie's question was worth answering. Effie would have pointed out to her that this was more than slightly rude, if she weren't so desperate to please her.

"Yes," Katniss said finally.

Effie laughed. It was false, but she was at least hoping that she _sounded_ genuine. Like Salla said, that should help. Even if Salla was totally wrong, which she was. "You don't like my lamp?"

Katniss frowned. "Huh?" she asked, bread still filling her mouth. Effie made an effort not to wince.

"Oh, oh, I'm not annoyed. It's fine!" Effie paused for an unsure moment, worried that she had sounded a little too accusatory. "Is the bread nice?" she asked, biting her lip.

Katniss nodded, shoving more bread into her mouth. Oh gosh. That _wasn't_ nice.

Effie waved a vague hand forward, but quickly pulled it down again so she wouldn't upset Katniss. She didn't seem to notice anyway.

"That's good," she said again. "Is there anything you want to do today? After work I mean? I guess you're coming there with me." That reminded her: what was the time? She didn't keep a clock in this room, though.

"I am," Katniss said, forcefully enough that it took Effie aback.

"Did I do something wrong?" Effie asked after a pause, and Katniss frowned. Maybe that had been a little out of place, Effie thought. "Like, to upset you I mean. Because ever since you got here you've seemed kind of really angry." Effie pulled away from her slightly, without really thinking about it.

Katniss didn't move from her spot, but she looked suddenly annoyed. Really annoyed, Effie thought. She seemed to be about to say something, but she frowned instead, baring her teeth slightly. "Not you, personally," she said finally, a slight growl in her voice.

Oh gosh, she was finally getting somewhere! Effie reminded herself that she had to stay terribly calm and collected if she were going to get through to Katniss. She knelt down slowly, watching Katniss's eyes as they followed her to the floor. "What do you mean?" she asked, making an effort to keep her voice low, inquiring and calming and nice. "Did someone else do something? Oh gosh. Was it Hela? She can be awful! I don't like her a lot of the time, either." Effie squeaked every word in overexcitement.

"No." Katniss said, shuffling to roll over away from Effie. Struggling, she let herself fall onto her back again, sighing roughly to herself.

"No to which one?" Effie asked, nibbling lightly on the end of her tongue.

"Effie," Katniss said slowly, nodding as she spoke her name. "Do you really think that I want to be here?"

"Um, I don't know. I get if you don't like it here. The city isn't for everyone." Effie squinted. "Are you homesick?" she said, somewhat triumphantly. Maybe she had finally figured this out.

"You could say that, I guess."

"A-ha!" Effie very nearly squealed, but collected herself quickly, only taking a few seconds to shuffle in glee. "Is there anything I could do to help?" she asked, softly enough, she hoped, to let Katniss know that she really was concerned.

"Send me home?" Katniss said dryly, her voice almost eerily empty. It made Effie want to shiver.

"I could try. But I'm not sure how happy Hela would be about it." Effie bit her lip.

Katniss laughed, in that same hollow way. "No," she said eventually, turning her head to look at Effie, seeming to decide whether or not she was being serious. Effie frowned. "You can't do that."

"Why? No-one can _stop_ me."

Katniss briefly opened her mouth to speak, but she stayed silent. Instead, she just looked at Effie, confused and vaguely pitying. Or maybe it was contempt. Effie wasn't sure.

Neither of them spoke, and they both sat gazing uncomfortably into space for a few horrendous moments of awkwardness.

"I need to get to work," Effie said, climbing up from the carpet. She brushed her knees off, despite knowing that her floor was perfectly clean. She couldn't bear to have a dirty house. "And you need to get dressed, or else you can't come with me."

It wasn't exactly a threat, but Katniss immediately murmured a quiet, "Mm-hm," and pushed herself up hurriedly.

Effie smiled at her quickly, and almost found it turning into a huge grin as Katniss gave her a short nod in return. Not _quite_ a smile, obviously, but it was most definitely an improvement on the harsh glares and scowls she had been treated to before.

As Katniss walked away to find the clothes Effie had left for her in the tiny spare room, Effie rewarded herself with her own short clap of self-applause.

So there, Salla! This wasn't so hard.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated this in ages! Hopefully I'll start getting chapters written slightly more quickly. I'll try to write more quickly than this, anyway.<p>

Thanks for reading!


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